Storytime / Bad Desicions / Breathalizer

We are stealing cool stories and posting them. Deal with it.

Speaking of Bad Desicions, our singer Gus had a breathalyzer in his car for like the first three years we were a band. But that’s a whole different Bad Decision story. 

Our first and probably only tour was 4 days in Nebraska and Kansas, which should qualify as its own fucked up decision. Gus got so drunk most of the nights that he still couldn’t drive in the morning, but of course that’s kind of the point of touring. The good news is that the left guitarist Jason (aka your humble narrator) is straight edge (and pretty damn lonely in this drunk ass band) so I drove Gus’ car. 

Right on the edge of Omaha we stopped for gas. Gus was in a different car halfway to Wichita. I was outside pumping gas and the breathalyzer started buzzing and counting down. The right guitarist John, who’s by far the best educated and supposed to be smart band dad, was like “Gus is a nasty motherfucker there’s no way I’m touching that thing.”

So he grabbed a bottle of hand sanitizer and absolutely pumped the breathalyzer tube full before anyone could stop him. Without any better ideas I took a deep breath and blasted hand sanitizer out the back of the tube and all over the steering wheel. It was a thick goopy mist of pure alcohol. 

The buzzer started freaking out and flashing red lights saying “fail” and we all just assumed helicopters were coming any second. I took the thing apart and started furiously cleaning all the alcohol out of the mechanisms. It was still counting down so with like 4 seconds left I tried again and passed. 

Gus didn’t think it was funny, and neither did the guy in Guitar Center when we were cry laughing and telling him that Gus was going back to jail as soon as we got home.

Courtesy: Jason & Gus / Bad Desicions / thank you

Facebook / Bad Desicions

Wash Yer Hands / Bad Desicions Music Video

Submit your own Storytime: Fucked Up Decisions to: krista@coloradopunkrockarmy.com

Krista Brewer / 2021

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