Shakers – Not the Shakers


Release Date: March 27, 2015

Format:  CD/Digital Download

Label: A Jam Records

Location:  Margate, FL

Current Lineup:

  • Pat Stahl
  • Jon Stahl
  • Joe Marino

Favorite Tracks:

  • Just the Facts
  • Sad Song
  • No Fucks
  • Assholes in my Way

Sounds Like:

  • United Defiance
  • NOFX
  • The Vandals


  1. 16 Tons
  2. Sad Song
  3. Desper-ado
  4. Mr. Millennium
  5. Just The Facts
  6. Throw It All Away
  7. Gotta Get Into It
  8. No Fucks
  9. All For Nothing
  10. Pompano Beach (cover of Rockaway Beach, by the Ramones)
  11. Assholes In My Way/hidden song


Ok… I’m gonna call “punk privilege” and break a rule…

When I write an ALBUM review, I write about the WHOLE album… but not this time.

Don’t get me wrong… this WHOLE album is great! It’s one of the best engineered albums I’ve heard for a while… the music, lyrics, and HIDDEN TRACK (which is fucking hilarious) make me feel like a teenager in the 90’s all over again, waiting for my parents to go to bed so I can FINALLY crack the window and light my bowl…

Take the CD out of the fucking annoying plastic anti theft shit… tear open the heat-sealed plastic wrapper… carefully unhinge the bottom of the CD case, so that you can CAREFULLY pull off the identifying sticker on the top… pull the CD out of the case and put it in the tray… close the tray and hit play… take the liner notes out of the case and CAREFULLY re-attach the lid… open the bedroom window… fire up the aforementioned bowl… sit back and get lost in the lyric sheet and the music…

… and then it ends… and you think, “wow… that was great!”

… so you get up and walk across the room about to restart the album, when you notice the song timer is still counting…

“That’s w-”

“BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!” the hidden track begins, scaring you half the fuck to death, and you laugh your ass off (but plan to scare the shit out of your friends)!

That’s what listening to this album is like. It’s a very warmly appreciated flashback to the days of my musical infancy.

The lyrics… the accompanying music… the mix levels… all FANTASTIC!

… but that’s not what I want to talk about…

The events of the last few days have been chaotic, what with former Presidents, billionaires, high level governmental officials being sent a slew of bombs from the #MAGAbomber. These have been strange days for us all.

… but there’s one particular song on this album that I feel needs a highlight, because of the events of this week. This one particular song really hit me on a personal level, because I’m personally guilty of EXACTLY what the song is about.

It’s weird listening to a song and feeling like it’s a “dirty mirror” into your own ugliness. You want to turn away… it disgusts you because it IS you…

… and then you sit there and you stew. You think about the song, and what it means, and what it’s about, and the meaning of the song, and how it applies to you… and you’re less disgusted with the song and more disgusted with yourself.

But still, in your own mind, you try to defend yourself; all the while knowing that you’re at least somewhat wrong… you just don’t want to admit it to yourself.

Here’s where I’m going with this…

There’s a song on the album called “Just the Facts,” that really forced me to contemplate my own words and actions.

The song is about people who have good intentions and want to build a better society, but get dragged down into the shit, with all the other shit, talking shit, spewing shit… and it’s all somewhat counter-productive…

I mean, right now, I’m banned from Facebook for 30 days. This is because a FAKE profile reported me for calling it FAKE.

My intention was to alert other people to the fact that they were arguing with some Russian troll, nowhere near America… but look at me now. What did my words actually accomplish?

Ok… that’s a somewhat lame example… want a list of some of the other things I frequently say to people online? This is the list that really made me have to think about shit:


“_______ deserves the Gaddaffi treatment!” (Name omitted)

“Why don’t you do the gene pool a favor and go fuck a salad shooter?”

“1. Go to a cross burning

  1. Call them all Democrats
  2. Observe their response
  3. If you can cut yourself down from the lynching, report back”

“You’re not even a douchebag; you’re more like a used colostomy bag (full of shit)!”

“Subhuman Deplorable trash doesn’t care about facts.”


… and that’s just scratching the surface of the god-awful shit that I’ve sown…

Sure, a lot of it was written to be humorous, but I mean, that shit is RAW!!!

Over the span of a week, including the events of this week, I’ve been sitting with this…

I mean, here we are, watching people get BOMBS sent to them, and I’m wondering if my own words may have spurred the terrorist piece of shit…

… but then I see the responses of people like the piece of shit in the White House gave, along with Lindsey Graham, Ted Cruz, and almost EVERY OTHER Republican, blaming the victims and shaming the media for the FACTS that make them look bad…

Yes, I want a more civil society…

… and yes, I, myself, have been GROTESQUELY guilty of spreading my share of discord, out of disgust for one party that’s gone full Fascist, and out of disgust for the other party that REFUSES to accept the severity or recognize the roots of the problem at hand…

Frustration is a bitch. Where are you supposed to put all this shit? What are you supposed to do with all the vitriol that constantly boils beneath the surface, while trying to push society to be better? It just seems easy to take it out on faceless people who you’ll never meet; especially when they say the DUMBEST fucking things, and politicians that CAUSE or EXACERBATE every problem, and the media figures that LIE and create brainwashed cultists; but where does it stop?

I tried.

I tried to be nicer. I tried to be more civil.

But I couldn’t. It lasted all of about 10 minutes (on Twitter, because… you know… Facebook ban).

How the fuck are you supposed to be “civil” to people who think BOMBS are somehow equivalent to a bad dining experience???

… and another question… Eventually, this shit has to end SOMEHOW… but that’s not going to change what’s been said and done… neither on their end nor mine; and when you’ve thrown more shit than a monkey with the runs like I have, the world could be a very lonely place in the future. Is that really what I want?




About the writer:

A? is an Artist, born and raised in Denver, CO. He is 7 shades of certified badass in a candy shell

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